Finding Time for Sex
Finding Time for Sex
When it comes to life’s to-do lists, the need to ‘do’ your partner usually comes way down the page, or not even feature at all. Now, if you’re lucky, this might be because you don’t actually see sex as a chore, or something to ‘fit in’ (no pun intended), but for many couples it can become another item to tick off the list, especially when there are kids, jobs, shopping, appointments, cooking and cleaning to do, too.
Which is sad.
Sex is a time to re-connect with each other, to be two adults in love instead of just Mom and Dad, and let’s all admit it, it’s the best form of destressing there is! So how can we make time to make love when there just isn’t time to make?
Make Foreplay Last all Day
Sounds exhausting, doesn’t it? But we’re not talking about actual physical foreplay. We are talking about emotional, visual and auditory foreplay. Imagine your partner being in a business meeting, or taking a boring conference call when he (or she) receives a text from you. But instead of the usual ‘can you pick up some diapers on the way home?’ it’s an erotic text or a close up of a favorite body part, or even a naked selfie. He won’t be able to stop thinking about it all day, and by the time he gets home he’ll be worked up into frenzy. Foreplay, it’s a magical thing.
Rise and Shine
Ok, so we all relish our sleep and want as much of it as we can get. But instead of hitting the snooze button every morning, why not set the alarm a few minutes early and get the day off to a hot start? You might not be a morning person, but once you’re up, you’re up (see what we did there?) and you’ll both benefit from the closeness and spontaneity it will bring. Worried about morning breath? Keep a pack of mints on the bedside table and pop one in your mouth when the alarm goes off. Simple. Morning sex is better than a breakfast sandwich any day of the week!
Sex is a time to re-connect with each other, to be two adults in love instead of just Mom and Dad, and let’s all admit it, it’s the best form of destressing there is! So how can we make time to make love when there just isn’t time to make?
Location, Location, Location
Sex doesn’t have to take place in the bedroom. Mix it up. Quickies are fabulous for injecting some spice into the relationship, especially when they’re unexpected. The couch is a great spot for a bit of night-time action once the kids are in bed. Don’t worry about missing the end of the movie – that’s what DVR’s are for. Grab the opportunity (and your partner) and make out on the couch like you did when you were a teenager. It doesn’t even have to be full on sex, fooling around can be just as satisfying and sometimes even hotter.
Sex Drive
Nothing will bring fond memories of being a teenager quicker to your brain than the sexual exploration in the back seat of your car. Put some music to groove to like when you were young and have a love making session to the rhythm and beat of your favorite band growing up. Of course, you don’t want to have to explain to the neighborhood cop what you’re doing, but finding a quiet spot where you’re not going to be discovered can bring the sizzle back. If you really can’t face going ‘all the way’ then have a heavy kissing session in the car before heading back into the house instead.
Take Sex off the Menu
Yes, you heard that right! By agreeing that you will enjoy some relaxing time together without sex coming into it, chances are that’s exactly where it will lead. Offer to give your overworked partner a massage after a long week at work, or run a scented bubble bath complete with candles and wine, and those few moments of downtime may well lead to more. But don’t do it because you think you might get some action at the end of it - do it because it’s a nice thing to do for your partner. Sex isn’t always the end game. Sometimes all it takes is a little pampering to turn ‘me time’ into ‘us time’.
Sometimes Less is More
By this we mean that little gestures can sometimes be better than sex. Remember those days when you were younger and in love, and more importantly in lust, and you just couldn’t keep your hands off each other? Take a step back in time and revisit the past. Kiss for the sake of kissing, slide your arms around your partner’s waist while they’re cooking and whisper sweet nothings in their ear, hold hands when you’re out, play with your partner’s hair while you’re watching the news before bed. It’s all about staying connected.
Hot and Wet
If you have kids together, they can be a huge obstacle to love making. But it IS still possible to slip in some sex even while they are in the house, especially if you have an en-suite bathroom. Surprise your partner by joining him or her in the shower – the bathroom door will be locked, the running water will muffle some of the sounds, and as for the steam and soap suds...even if the shower is too small for sex, kissing is hot under warm running water and there’s always the bathroom floor. Good, clean fun!
The Couple That Plays Together, Stays Together
Masturbation doesn’t have to be a single player game. Sometimes, despite our best efforts just the mere thought of the energy it takes to have intercourse stops us in our tracks – after all, nobody in their right mind is going to turn down an orgasm, so it’s not the destination that’s the problem, it’s the journey. Lying together on the bed and bringing yourselves to orgasm can be just as erotic and just as satisfying as a full love making session, but masturbation takes minimal effort. You’ll still have the rush, and the warm fuzzy feelings afterwards, and climaxing encourages sleep so it’s a win-win.
Finding time to keep the spark alive in any relationship can be a challenge, that’s for sure, but with a little creativity even the most time-strapped couple can manage it.
And it’s so worth it.
